Homesick

Yesterday both of my children were away. I had plans for the evening, but I was home during the day gardening and puttering. Waves of nostalgia washed over me as I realized it had been this time FOUR years ago that I saw the first symptoms in Lucius. Most times it is the little things that make me miss him or someone else who or that is no longer, such as a simple time in my life when there was no hint of the heartache to come. When we were young marrieds and had over a decade together before children came, time seemed to be in endless supply then.
I see an old fashioned orange day lily and miss my maternal grandmother. Smell steaks cooking on a grill and remember my Daddy in his white t-shirt and shorts bringing Saturday supper into the house, him younger than I am now. The scent of chlorine brings back youth and summers that lasted forever. Motown music comes on the radio and I am a child again. . .

In a few short months Mary Casey will begin high school. This would be a sentimental time for any parent, but made so bittersweet by the absence of her father. He was and would still be so proud of the girls and the way they have handled themselves through a monumental tragic loss. I am thankful every day that we have held it together as well as we have.
Time marches on and I'm homesick.