On My Knees

God is showing me that is where I must be today, and perhaps for days to come. After a very painful couple of months, I had a decision to make, one I referenced in the previous offering. Pain has followed that decision. Pain can be good, we can learn from it. Yes, I am preaching to myself in an attempt to convince me that it is so. . . .
So many times over the past 4 years (and many other times in my life as well), I've had to be shown, sometimes in excrutiating ways, that God alone must be enough. After being married very young and for 25 years, it has been harder to be alone that I could have ever imagined. Lucius took good care of us, and he loved me and the girls with his whole heart. He was everything I ever wanted in a man. I thought the memories of that would be enough, and they are a comfort. Although when it's late at night and you're alone and lonely--there is a difference between the two, it's hard to rely on God completely sometimes. Like my wonderful pastor says, "Sometimes you need someone with skin."
It is a glowing testament to Lucius that I would consider marrying again. Now, I just need to let God direct me, not the world. I say God is Sovereign, but living it isn't always as easy as speaking it. Talk is cheap.
Over these past 4 years I've learned more about people than in the other 45 years of my life. Sometimes the very ones you think surely couldn't have much to offer you in the way of wisdom, comfort, or encouragement, are the very people who can offer you a glimpse into the heart of The Almighty. And, sometimes the ones who think they know what's best for you are the ones who know the least.
Today I am thanking God for the rest and comfort offered, and I am remembering to keep my eyes and heart open to new things God may want me to see or hear.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

Peace,
Lisa